A Heart is a Heavy Burden 

  • The title of this EP was inspired by a line from Hayao Miyazaki's film "Howl's Moving Castle." 
     
  • This EP speaks to the pain that come with caring and the struggles of righteously seeking what is good while trying to maintain harmony in your immediate communities. 
     
  • There's no way to know what will happen, but seeing what's going on it's hard not to compare the methods of the opposing groups in our country and see a pattern in the history of the actions of an overpowered executive branch (Police) that's been wielding greater and greater unchecked power, often towards the already historically oppressed and disenfranchised with no repercussions. 
     
  • Ultimately this documents my journey through the pain of slowly and truly connecting with the world after being withdrawn from it as a child. The tracks travel: 
     
    • 1. Granite City, IL - through the stories of my family's youth 
    • 2. Pity - Reframing my disgust and self-hatred as pity for what I've been 
    • 3. Prayer for the Reformed Hoarder - Trying to unpack my understanding of emotional baggage as old worn out luggage I've been keeping in the attic 
    • 4. Alvarado, TX - Trying to see the beauty and glow during the formative years of my adult life even amidst its hangups 
    • 5. A Heart is a Heavy Burden - Finally, wrapping up with this track about what might need to be done for the good of the future even if we carry the weight of our mistakes with us through and beyond. 
      • At the end of the EP is a reprise of the opening track set in a cheeky, a capella traditional folk band style to lighten the mood and send the listener away laughing rather than just commiserating

         
  • Secret Pre-Release Listening Link


Lyrics: 
 

  • Granite City, IL 

    I don’t see what all the fuss is about 
    There was always plenty of food in the pantry 
    So many ways for us to spend our time 
    As long as we spent it alone 

    My grandmother told me stories 
    Of apples for pennies fresh from the street corner 
    And how her husband had bees in the back yard 
    As the fruits of his labor filled his garden and lungs with blood 

    For our bloody gods 
    Keep the stock option over the broken homes 
    Settle fevers with a fresh cut of sod 
    Fill the hole in your heart with your children’s children
     

  • Pity

    Her fingers like ice soothe my furrowed scalp 
    Like lemonade on a fresh squeezed summer day 
    Teasing from my mind the fear and worry 
    Leaving me emptier yet fuller in a funny way 

    And I pity the man who walks alone 
    I feel the fear of never coming home 
    Now that I’ve seen what love has shown 
    I pity the man with the heart of stone 

    The razors edge of loneliness cuts the mind 
    Solitude is only worth how you spend your time 
    The maw of eternity lies ahead 
    As the empty spot beside me in my bed 

    And I pity the man who sleeps alone 
    Spending hours trying to find a soul in his phone 
    The wind outside echoes and calls a weary moan 
    I pity the man who won’t atone

  • Prayer for a Reformed Hoarder 

    It’s been a few years 
    But the luggage is still 
    Dusting in my attic 
    Really thought I would’ve 
    Donated it by now 

    But nobody wants 
    Useless broken zippers our 
    faded, trendy roller bags of shit I couldn’t shake 

    Why am I searching 
    For ways to hate it there 
    Just a wild imagination 
    Trying to cope 

    My god 
    I’ve never been so close 
    My god 
    Help me find a another home 

    Why am I searching 
    For ways to hate it there 
    Just coming up tired 
    And empty handed

  • Alvarado, TX 

    They’ve been wondering 
    When I’m gonna wake up smell the 
    Roses grandma 
    kept long after they were folding 

    Things these days just 
    Aren’t made like they used to be 
    The phrases people say 
    Just leaving reeling and 

    Gotta find my own way, no matter where it goes
    Where I’m gonna end up, I’ll never know, I’ll never know 

    For now just... 
    Feel the mud squish all up through your toes 
    Dirt and sunbeams melting all your woes 
    Let the wind relax you for a time 
    Waves are lapping softly at your mind 

    Crackling campfires roasting weary feet 
    Lean against a friend and feel complete 
    No words as we stare into the coals 
    Dying embers lighting up your soul 

    Look back down my street 
    The garbage heaps are gleaming 
    Sunny highways lined 
    With all the dying dreams and 

    Little things could 
    Make or break your weekends 
    And the simple truth’s 
    You’d never see it coming musta been 

    Something in the water 

    Something in the way it moved the trees 
    Shaking back and forth just like my knees 
    Stars in your mouth as it opened wide 
    Brilliant teeth all shining with your lies 

    Moonlight over empty soccer fields 
    Dragonflies speed for their easy meals 
    As the phrases slowly make their way 
    Out of my hand into yours to stay

  • A Heart is a Heavy Burden 

    A heart is a heavy burden 
    But it’s worth the weight in your pack 

    But the truth is when you’re hurting 
    It’s easier to turn your back on your own love 

    When well pressed men come calling again 
    Read carefully the way they treat the least when no one’s watching 

    Wear your love on your sleeve 
    Your bleeding heart will ever be the source of courage ‘gainst the man and 

    When you hold your tongue to not offend 
    Or make upset just once through starting an uncomfortable conversation 

    Think of Innocent folks out there dying 
    Empty spots at tables parents, siblings, children all are crying 

    And so when armored vans run rampant on streets 
    Here is something when you don’t know if anybody’s watching 

    Try to stay on your feet 
    I ain’t trying to say it’s anything to kid about an easy breezy 

    But I can hear the people singing the songs 
    Of angry men who will not wait so idly by while race and class divide us 

    Long live the courage of the people 
    Feed the fires and burn those cheap hells

Granite City, IL 

Listen Now!

This song follows the stories of my family. Growing up my mother's family was fractured and combative for ways I couldn't understand. I learned my grandfather died 5-6 years before I was born. Over the 9 years I lived with my grandmother, I absorbed the stories of our family (from her perspective) and now have put them to song. 

First verse: Growing up with my grandma in southern Missouri.

Second Verse: Learning of how the Great Depression shaped my grandmother's childhood, how she married young and started a family that was then fractured by Robert Soles Sr's death to mesothelioma (from exposure to asbestos.) 

Outro/Bridge: My own views and what I can imagine the well-pressed men who presented my grandmother with arbitration/settlement were saying through the thin veneer of their concern (for their stock options.)

 

Granite City, IL 


I don’t see what all the fuss is about 
There was always plenty of food in the pantry 
So many ways for us to spend our time 
As long as we spent it alone 

My grandmother told me stories 
Of apples for pennies fresh from the street corner 
And how her husband had bees in the back yard 
As the fruits of his labor filled his garden and lungs with blood 

For our bloody gods 
Keep the stock option over the broken homes 
Settle fevers with a fresh cut of sod 
Fill the hole in your heart with your children’s children

Wild Spaces 

Listen Now!

A man, his guitar, and his quest to find the wild spaces in his life. 


1. Doing what he can to save the bees and other pollinators. 

Oh Honey Please, Do It For The Bees 

G. C 
There’s new flowers in the field 
Am D7 
As the spring earth starts to yield 
Food for the bees fruit of the soil 
And y’know what they’ll get for their toil 

Am. D7 
Their tiny brains all full of roundup 
G. Fdim(?). E7 
Dandelions just weeds to you and me 
To soon we’ll only hear the sound of 
Silence buzzin through the trees 
So stay your hand domestic gods 
G. E7. A7. D7 
Try to see the beauty past your pasture of sod 

And won’t you 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees (and other pollinators) 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 

So if you love the way honey glistens 
And preventing the collapse of our ecosystems 
All it takes is planting flowers 
And making your voice heard to the powers 

Whether they’re neighbors or congresspeople 
Tell them that the future of our food is past the brink 
Or bring your case to your weekly steeple 
If he made them all why should we make them all extinct 
And if my words sound off or odd 
Know every spray of poison spits into the face of God 

And won’t you 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees (and other pollinators) 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 


2. Finding his peace in the woods of Central Oregon, working in the Deschutes National Forest at Camp Tamarack. 

Forest Bathing 

Never was the one to take the criticism lightly 
In fact you’d find me lying awake on my pillow nightly 
Always something on my mind 
Always something on my heart 
Always words caught in my mouth 
As I shut it tightly 

So as the hours pass the darkness lasts til day comes brightly 
And the fading thoughts they burn away like dreams of flying 
Carried away on the wind 
Float away and then begin 
Thankful for another day 
A bit of fright and then it’s 

Off to the woods without the fear and 
Into the lake as the icy clearness 
Soaks out the world with joyful tears 
And shivers bring out a moment dear 

So inbetween the seasons counting reasons til I’m sleeping 
Often finding hopeful dreams of mine hard to believe in 
There’s no shame in feeling frail 
Find the center of the gale 
Never worry if you fail 
Depend on those who take you 

Off to the woods around a fire 
Awakening hope and true desire 
Sun, pine and smoke are not a liar 
Bringing our spirits ever higher 


3. A song dedicated to his godson and the future of all children who will come and who have come before. 

Murphy’s Song 

I wanna lay in the woods 
I wanna hike every mountain 
I wanna climb up the trees 
I wanna smell the blossoms 

I wanna feel the leaves 
And hear the ground crunch underfoot 
I wanna see and believe 
In the things I know I should 

I wanna see the love 
For that which gives us life 
Whether it comes from above 
Or in the peace that’s in the night 

I wanna see the moon 
I wanna see the Stars 
That means I wanna live 
Outside the land of cars 

I wanna walk out to the sea 
Where the waves crash on the shore 
I wanna be the next of kin 
To aspire for something more 

I wanna swim in the lakes 
Fed by the glacial melt 
But they’re getting pretty deep 
Much like the fears I’ve felt 

This is the song of your children 
This is the song of your grandparents 
This is the song of anyone who has ever gone out of their way to love 
They are watching you 
They are hoping for you 
They are wanting you 
To make it right 

Please make it right 
Doesn’t have to be fair 
But it could be right 
Please make it right 

This is the last time 

We’re gonna ask nicely 

I wanna see the moon 
I wanna see the Stars 
That means I wanna live 


4. A celebration of the lush, icy cold Oregon watershed. 

Sahalie & Koosah 

Green boughs swayin 
Dripping sunlight filter dew 
Those mossy highways 
And bending flowers pointing towards the truth 
Steep river rushing, rushing through 
It’s that wide eyed, white cap misty morning with you 

Oh Oh Sahalie 
And Koosah, south of Santiam 
On the McKenzie 
On down to Blue Pool, coldest water I can stand 

And I see the cloud 
That tells me you’re still heaving 
So close to God 
Almost got me believing 
We’ll go down to Deer Creek 
It’s murky but it’s steaming 
Crispest breeezes blowin 
Can’t even think of leaving 

Leaving Sahalie 
And Koosah, south of Santiam 
On the McKenzie 
On down to Blue Pool, coldest water I can stand 


5. Finally, a lifelong quest of finding the wild spaces of his life no matter where he finds himself. 

Wild Places 

Get you to those wild places 
Let your legs carry you into the unknown 
Exit all of your daily races 
And face the mystery that you’ve been shown 

I remember nineteen, living what I thought was the dream 
Concrete box all my own, vintage carpet and shared showers made a home 
But Sunny Texas made me seek the shade 
I found a city park and considered the offer it made 
Follow the stream around the bend just outta sight 
No one here it’s just me and all the leaves, a tiny 

Wild space 
Let my curiosity reap what it sown 
Found some rest in a secret place 
A way for my weary mind to atone 

I remember being only nine 
A six year old in tow her eyes shine just like mine 
The trees in Ozark, the moon over our head 
It’s been many many hours and we’re overdue for bed 
Trails fresh cut by our uncle still oozing with their name 
Little did we know someday they would be tamed 
Til then we’ll run and fill the forest with our fame 
Two wild children discovering the same 

In our wild spaces 
Across lake table rock the stars and moon shone 
Through those hills we did hasten 
Never worried about our hunger never listened for a phone 

Now I’m nearly thirty 
Been so long since I’ve been anything but good and dirty 
Perched on a bus outside Bend, feeding the fire 
Living for the outdoors, in the woods, on top of tires 
Feel the cascades, reaching juniper and stone 
Smell the snowy wind that beckons you on to a 

Wild space 
See how the land around you has grown 
Shed your contrived social graces 
Lose your shoes for a moment and feel your home