Hold Me While The World Burns 

Incredulovely

Well I been thinkin' about you and me
and I'm flabbergasted
How'd you find where I was hidin'
I thought all my luck was spent on being born a white American something

Yet here we are turning a corner
Falling face first into every best year of our lives so far
And I'm gobsmacked gonna need a mop
My jaw is melting through the cracks in the floor

Nevermind it's probably good for the blanketflowers
Feedin' the bees and the birds

But where the hell did you come from?
And how'd you get my name?

What's Your Name Again?

Might catch you later on
When the lights are low
Ask if you're still vibin'
Or if you wanna go?

Runnin' through the rain
I offer you my coat
Part ways as it's clearing
And the sun begins to glow

Don't wanna say goodbye
You're the best I've ever known

What's your name again?
This your cardigan?
Could we meet again?
Where's my car again?

Next To Me

Love the way my nails go
Clack, clack, clack
On the keyboard and smoothly down your back

There's nothing that I love more
Than seeing you over and under
But mostly just right here

Next to me

Love the way your smile just
Cuts a seam
In the cloudy clouds that cloud my dreams

Even there I feel you
Over and under but mostly just right here

Next to me


Skin

Like ripples through the water
Or a spark through a filament
There's something in my shoe
I've only just noticed

When you touched my skin
I remembered I had it
Before there was nothing
Between me and the world

But then you reminded me
Of where I am sitting
And how I'm something worth touchin'
Something worth holdin', here by this fire

When you touched my skin
I remembered I had it


Don't Forget to Call Me

I don't care what you call me
Just don't call me late for dinner
I don't care much what you say
Just as long as you'll stay

Keep that umbrella over my head
Still the same person that don't like to get wet
Can't stress enough how much I still hunger for your love

So I'll say:

Don't care what you call me, just don't forget to call me

And the truth is I really do care
But I'd follow you anywhere

So I'll say: 

Don't care what you call me, just don't forget to call me

Come Up and Meet Me

Wake up in the morning time
Expect to see you there
But it's only the sun
Breathe in the lonely air
And sip on my coffee
As I wait for the sun to...
Come up and meet me

I'd like to stay high for the rest of my life
But the ground always seems to
Come up and meet me

I'd like to stay in the morning time
But the sun always seems to
Come up and meet me

Wake up wake up wake up it's only 9:15!


And They Laid Together

I wanna see beneath your feathers
All rimed with the dawn-lit frost
So fly away with me to somewhere better
And reclaim the time we've lost

The minutes of our morning pass slowly
A single line alone on the page
"And they laid together..."

Tonight

Tonight
I will hang myself
From the stars
By my toes
By the flat of my back against the slick grass of this dewy field

Tonight
I will cut myself free
From the sandbags
Weighing my canvassed dreams
Roiling and flapping
In the winds of cold and quiet mornings

Tonight
I will kill
My anger
With its honeyed crest
And bitter poisoned root

Tonight
I will do
No harm

Jesus Would Never

You consigned yourself to a hell of your own making
Makin' idols of assimilation about what it means to love

But God didn't say that
And Jesus would never say that
So you shouldn't either

I think the friends that I've lost and the tears that I've shed for them
Watered flowers at my feet
I'd rather be standing in dirt though
I'd rather be burning my toes with 'em on the asphalt
Than cooling my heels with them someday in the clouds
Why'd you have to be so hateful? And so goddamn loud?

Go fuck yourselves!
No... Go love yourselves...
Work that log right outta your eye...

'Cause God didn't say that
And Jesus would never say that
So I guess I shouldn't either


Matti Joy

It's Matti now, if you don't mind
But if you do hey it's fine
I'll be there to remind you every time
Because I want you to be better

But it's your right to be forgetful
Or just an asshole
It's right there in the Declaration of Independence
And what a great piece of work that is
With its "merciless Indian savages"

Yea that ain't it, it's gotta go
Along with all these other prejudiced weeds
You continue to let grow
There's no flower, it's just a thorn
And it's been draining me dry
Since the day I was born

So it's Matti now.

Yea it's Matti now, if you don't mind
But if you do hey it's fine
I'll be there to remind you ever time
Because I want you to be better


Clouds (Instrumental)
 

Danny Boy & Amazing Grace (Dulcimer Instrumental)
 

Oh Honey Please, Do It For the Bees (Instrumental)
 

Forest Bathing (Instrumental)


Good Boys Do Fine Always (Instrumental)


Ivy & Gold (Instrumental Cover)


Exponential Revelations (Instrumental)


No Hand Me Down Manipulation

Well I been thinking bout the way you talked to me when I was just a child 
The shit you’d say it gave me nightmares kept me rolling in my bed all night, all night 

I didn’t sleep a wink before I turned 18 can’t imagine why 
The twisted dreams they whispered of such awful things and told me I would die and burn in those fires 

And I ain’t even mad about it 
But I ain’t gonna pass it on to my kids 

How could you say such awful things 
How could you say it how could you pray it 
How could you elect the man to make it 
How couldn’t you tell it was a scheme 
Born from the great and terrible beast 
That sacrifices all that you love 
From the earth or from above 
It doesn’t matter 
You gotta be better 
But if you can’t 
Just know 

I ain’t even mad about it 
But I ain’t gonna pass it on to my kids

End of Stars

And the stars 
Glitter with their family 
Never take time to see 
The reach of humanity 
  
And the cars 
Run the track endlessly 
Turn left incessantly 
Refuel but never free 

And the stars 
Glow with iridescent glee 
Run the track endlessly 
Never take time to see 

That the cars 
Run the track endlessly 
Never take time to see 
The violence in vanity


Unbound

Hundreds if not thousands of miles overground 
With a child on her back 
Fleeing from the press gangs way back home 

Over sand, stone, jungle and the harshest land 
Long stolen from her people 
Toward something that might just look like hope 

Yet in the final stretch to freedom 
The fed said leave them to their deaths 
No mercy for the foreign breath 

But no barbs upon wire or small petty fine 
Would keep them from the free exercise 
Of a timeless love 
Unbound 

They were unbound 
(No state could stop them) 
Unbound 
(No man could judge them) 
Unbound 
No thing to do but join them and be unbound 

When commanded to offer up the names 
Of neighbor, kin, and countrymen 
They nodded and sent them on along 

But little did those nazis know 
Of the long and winding undertow 
Below the waves that sent them on their way 

Be it stamps or children feverishly 
Filled out and smuggled through the leaves 
It was a treasure of humanity 
Unbound 

They were unbound 
(No state could stop them) 
Unbound 
(No man could judge them) 
Unbound 
No thing to do but join them and be unbound 

May this little song and my paltry words 
Unhinge your heart and sheath your swords 
And be the death of border wars 
May your love be unbound


I Bet You Would've Called the Cops on Jesus

Heat, light, brilliant silence when we meet 
The finality and obscenities that leak out when you breathe 

Half truths fly like snow white weight over open fields we’ll never walk again 
An albatross dead but somehow flying home to warmer skies like 

Wind, let it begin, feel the breeze caress your deepest fears 
And stoke the coal that lets your worship never face up to spitting in the face of your love! 

Drain your doves of blood to fill the sacramental cups and 
Raise a toast to respectable villains, such gentlemen all
Cause these weeds they grow such stilted beings
Dirty your feet and discover the meaning of speaking truth to power and just 

Breathe deeply in your final hours, dogwhistle us your funeral dirge 

The Other denied will defy and decry and survive despite your evil words and all your 

Heat, light and brilliant silence 
Shine like iron, piercing wrists and feet

Wander (Instrumental)


Walk Sublime

 

Join, Or Die. 

Join, Or Die.

An Album in Protest

Doomscroller Folk Music


Revelations 3:16
"So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

Over the summer of '20 I spent time alone, thinking on my past and recognizing the deep cognitive dissonance I had cultivated during my upbringing as an evangelical Christian. The result was a collection of poetry and guitar that is an effort to unpack and repack my philosophy and be bold to say that burden which weighs so heavily on my heart. I have traveled to the wild spaces of my past and stand before you whole and new.

Join, Or Die demands answers for the spectres that haunt our adult life. From climate grief to Christian culpability in the oppression of the least, from nationalized slavery to the American Dream being based on ancient genocide and theft, this album journeys towards the synthesis of something once thought impossible: the actualization of justice in the modern age.

The following is an in-depth explanation of the thoughts and writings behind each song.

Read more

A Heart is a Heavy Burden 

  • The title of this EP was inspired by a line from Hayao Miyazaki's film "Howl's Moving Castle." 
     
  • This EP speaks to the pain that come with caring and the struggles of righteously seeking what is good while trying to maintain harmony in your immediate communities. 
     
  • There's no way to know what will happen, but seeing what's going on it's hard not to compare the methods of the opposing groups in our country and see a pattern in the history of the actions of an overpowered executive branch (Police) that's been wielding greater and greater unchecked power, often towards the already historically oppressed and disenfranchised with no repercussions. 
     
  • Ultimately this documents my journey through the pain of slowly and truly connecting with the world after being withdrawn from it as a child. The tracks travel: 
     
    • 1. Granite City, IL - through the stories of my family's youth 
    • 2. Pity - Reframing my disgust and self-hatred as pity for what I've been 
    • 3. Prayer for the Reformed Hoarder - Trying to unpack my understanding of emotional baggage as old worn out luggage I've been keeping in the attic 
    • 4. Alvarado, TX - Trying to see the beauty and glow during the formative years of my adult life even amidst its hangups 
    • 5. A Heart is a Heavy Burden - Finally, wrapping up with this track about what might need to be done for the good of the future even if we carry the weight of our mistakes with us through and beyond. 
      • At the end of the EP is a reprise of the opening track set in a cheeky, a capella traditional folk band style to lighten the mood and send the listener away laughing rather than just commiserating

         
  • Secret Pre-Release Listening Link
     
Read more

Granite City, IL 

Listen Now!

This song follows the stories of my family. Growing up my mother's family was fractured and combative for ways I couldn't understand. I learned my grandfather died 5-6 years before I was born. Over the 9 years I lived with my grandmother, I absorbed the stories of our family (from her perspective) and now have put them to song. 

First verse: Growing up with my grandma in southern Missouri.

Second Verse: Learning of how the Great Depression shaped my grandmother's childhood, how she married young and started a family that was then fractured by Robert Soles Sr's death to mesothelioma (from exposure to asbestos.) 

Outro/Bridge: My own views and what I can imagine the well-pressed men who presented my grandmother with arbitration/settlement were saying through the thin veneer of their concern (for their stock options.)

 

Granite City, IL 


I don’t see what all the fuss is about 
There was always plenty of food in the pantry 
So many ways for us to spend our time 
As long as we spent it alone 

My grandmother told me stories 
Of apples for pennies fresh from the street corner 
And how her husband had bees in the back yard 
As the fruits of his labor filled his garden and lungs with blood 

For our bloody gods 
Keep the stock option over the broken homes 
Settle fevers with a fresh cut of sod 
Fill the hole in your heart with your children’s children

Wild Spaces 

Listen Now!

A man, his guitar, and his quest to find the wild spaces in his life. 


1. Doing what he can to save the bees and other pollinators. 

Oh Honey Please, Do It For The Bees 

G. C 
There’s new flowers in the field 
Am D7 
As the spring earth starts to yield 
Food for the bees fruit of the soil 
And y’know what they’ll get for their toil 

Am. D7 
Their tiny brains all full of roundup 
G. Fdim(?). E7 
Dandelions just weeds to you and me 
To soon we’ll only hear the sound of 
Silence buzzin through the trees 
So stay your hand domestic gods 
G. E7. A7. D7 
Try to see the beauty past your pasture of sod 

And won’t you 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees (and other pollinators) 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 

So if you love the way honey glistens 
And preventing the collapse of our ecosystems 
All it takes is planting flowers 
And making your voice heard to the powers 

Whether they’re neighbors or congresspeople 
Tell them that the future of our food is past the brink 
Or bring your case to your weekly steeple 
If he made them all why should we make them all extinct 
And if my words sound off or odd 
Know every spray of poison spits into the face of God 

And won’t you 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 
Oh honey please do it for the bees (and other pollinators) 
Oh honey please do it for the bees 


2. Finding his peace in the woods of Central Oregon, working in the Deschutes National Forest at Camp Tamarack. 

Forest Bathing 

Never was the one to take the criticism lightly 
In fact you’d find me lying awake on my pillow nightly 
Always something on my mind 
Always something on my heart 
Always words caught in my mouth 
As I shut it tightly 

So as the hours pass the darkness lasts til day comes brightly 
And the fading thoughts they burn away like dreams of flying 
Carried away on the wind 
Float away and then begin 
Thankful for another day 
A bit of fright and then it’s 

Off to the woods without the fear and 
Into the lake as the icy clearness 
Soaks out the world with joyful tears 
And shivers bring out a moment dear 

So inbetween the seasons counting reasons til I’m sleeping 
Often finding hopeful dreams of mine hard to believe in 
There’s no shame in feeling frail 
Find the center of the gale 
Never worry if you fail 
Depend on those who take you 

Off to the woods around a fire 
Awakening hope and true desire 
Sun, pine and smoke are not a liar 
Bringing our spirits ever higher 


3. A song dedicated to his godson and the future of all children who will come and who have come before. 

Murphy’s Song 

I wanna lay in the woods 
I wanna hike every mountain 
I wanna climb up the trees 
I wanna smell the blossoms 

I wanna feel the leaves 
And hear the ground crunch underfoot 
I wanna see and believe 
In the things I know I should 

I wanna see the love 
For that which gives us life 
Whether it comes from above 
Or in the peace that’s in the night 

I wanna see the moon 
I wanna see the Stars 
That means I wanna live 
Outside the land of cars 

I wanna walk out to the sea 
Where the waves crash on the shore 
I wanna be the next of kin 
To aspire for something more 

I wanna swim in the lakes 
Fed by the glacial melt 
But they’re getting pretty deep 
Much like the fears I’ve felt 

This is the song of your children 
This is the song of your grandparents 
This is the song of anyone who has ever gone out of their way to love 
They are watching you 
They are hoping for you 
They are wanting you 
To make it right 

Please make it right 
Doesn’t have to be fair 
But it could be right 
Please make it right 

This is the last time 

We’re gonna ask nicely 

I wanna see the moon 
I wanna see the Stars 
That means I wanna live 


4. A celebration of the lush, icy cold Oregon watershed. 

Sahalie & Koosah 

Green boughs swayin 
Dripping sunlight filter dew 
Those mossy highways 
And bending flowers pointing towards the truth 
Steep river rushing, rushing through 
It’s that wide eyed, white cap misty morning with you 

Oh Oh Sahalie 
And Koosah, south of Santiam 
On the McKenzie 
On down to Blue Pool, coldest water I can stand 

And I see the cloud 
That tells me you’re still heaving 
So close to God 
Almost got me believing 
We’ll go down to Deer Creek 
It’s murky but it’s steaming 
Crispest breeezes blowin 
Can’t even think of leaving 

Leaving Sahalie 
And Koosah, south of Santiam 
On the McKenzie 
On down to Blue Pool, coldest water I can stand 


5. Finally, a lifelong quest of finding the wild spaces of his life no matter where he finds himself. 

Wild Places 

Get you to those wild places 
Let your legs carry you into the unknown 
Exit all of your daily races 
And face the mystery that you’ve been shown 

I remember nineteen, living what I thought was the dream 
Concrete box all my own, vintage carpet and shared showers made a home 
But Sunny Texas made me seek the shade 
I found a city park and considered the offer it made 
Follow the stream around the bend just outta sight 
No one here it’s just me and all the leaves, a tiny 

Wild space 
Let my curiosity reap what it sown 
Found some rest in a secret place 
A way for my weary mind to atone 

I remember being only nine 
A six year old in tow her eyes shine just like mine 
The trees in Ozark, the moon over our head 
It’s been many many hours and we’re overdue for bed 
Trails fresh cut by our uncle still oozing with their name 
Little did we know someday they would be tamed 
Til then we’ll run and fill the forest with our fame 
Two wild children discovering the same 

In our wild spaces 
Across lake table rock the stars and moon shone 
Through those hills we did hasten 
Never worried about our hunger never listened for a phone 

Now I’m nearly thirty 
Been so long since I’ve been anything but good and dirty 
Perched on a bus outside Bend, feeding the fire 
Living for the outdoors, in the woods, on top of tires 
Feel the cascades, reaching juniper and stone 
Smell the snowy wind that beckons you on to a 

Wild space 
See how the land around you has grown 
Shed your contrived social graces 
Lose your shoes for a moment and feel your home